Home alone

36 weeks pregnant and the second day of my holiday. It's not officially maternity leave until next week so technically I can just doss about. It's not really in my nature, but I must admit I am now seeing signs of it. Yesterday I wrote a long to do list of jobs that need to be done before the baby and then there are things like housework on top of that and necessary tasks like getting washed and dressed. To be honest I'm not feeling motivated enough to do the latter. It doesn't I feel guilty just very odd. help that the sky is grey and drizzling - not very inspirational. Suddenly the birth seems a long way away again. I don't really have a desire to do anything or see anyone. This is bad!

So what to do next? Finish my cup of tea get off my ass and get in the shower. The only consolation I have is that morning tv is truly dire. Maybe they do it on purpose to motivate the unemployed to get out of the house. It's certainly an incentive not to sit here all day. I guess I need a plan and some structure to my day which the purpose of the list. I hate it when I don't feel I've achieved anything. I had plans for scoping out a new business. Day two and I'm settling for being an earth mother type wearing flowing skirts and sitting around with crystals.

What being pregnant has taught me to appreciate the most is the nature of energy. I realise I had an abundance. I was always on the go and found it hard to sit still. Multi-tasking was my middle name and I did manage to achieve and do a lot of things and visit lots of places. And then it was gone. A small growing baby nicked it and left me sitting like a lump on a sofa realising how fortunate i was to be in this position yet struggling to adjust to the new set of circumstances. Seeing so many things that needed to be done but little inclination to do them. Is this what burn-out feels like? I can't say I feel guilty, just very odd. Will this energy ever come back? I suspect also I'm eating too much sugar so will cut down on that and see if it helps.